Day 19--Eastbrook

Today was pretty sweet. Aaron apparently left for a painting job at 5:30 (ouch!), but managed to avoid waking me up. I left for Eastbrook Church at 8:30, where we pretty quickly got into tutoring. I was the designated math tutor, and spent the first hour or so working one-on-one with a woman named Alice. She liked to work quietly as I imagine I do, and I would wait for her to finish a worksheet before grading it on the spot and answering her questions. Anna and Gloria, my teammates who had also come to Eastbrook, were similarly engaged one-on-one; Gloria was tutoring a jovial older woman named Mary Ann on math across from me and Alice. It was quite chill (partially due to the miraculously cool weather today) and, I hope, beneficial for the students. I was sad to see how much these adults (often over twice my age) struggled with basic math, but I was glad to be able to help.

For background, I'm a graduate and teaching assistant in a program at the U of M that teaches accelerated math to talented young students, so I have some experience helping others understand math. But eager and bright middle schoolers are quite different than adults with little more education who haven't studied math in decades. I tried to be more encouraging than challenging; the one-on-one interection of the learning center made this easier.

In late afternoon, we all got into a small group to go through part of the American classic play A Raisin in the Sun. (Which I hadn't heard of until today) It was a pretty depressing scene in which a 50s-era African-American family is politely encouraged not to buy a house in a white neighborhood and loses the deceased grandpa's life savings. (I got to read for the racist chairman of the "Clybourne Park Improvement Association" and the bearer of the bad news) Again, I was saddened by the difficulties some of the students had with reading the play, but the de facto English teacher was very helpful, guiding them through difficult words and explaining allusions and other minutiae for the sake of enlightenment.

Most of the students went home around lunch time, but I got paired up with a younger-looking, tatooed guy named Chad. He looked like the kind of guy I wouldn't want to get too angry, but he was quite polite in learning math and I tried to respect and challenge him. Bob informed me afterward that he was very much an unchurched person, and I hope today was a positive experience for him.

Then for the rest of the afternoon I helped James work work on his math skills for getting into Milwaukee Area Technical College. The others students were mostly gone, and I pretty much got to relax between helping James on worksheets. After he left, we were done; I was amazed by how much less draining Eastbrook is than Hopewell. (Is that a good thing?) Pray that God would be glorified in all that we do at the learning center (and back at Hopewell and at the VBS the other team is running at Straightway Vineyard), and that we would rely on His strength in all that we do!

Composed ~4:00 PM, Tuesday, June 29th

Day 18--Eastbrook!

The last two days have been pretty sweet. After we left off yesterday, it was time for planning meetings. The vocational ministry meeting was fairly uneventful, except for Erica joining us from workplace ministry. Also the news that our group would apparently be split between Eastbrook Church and Hopewell for Tuesday through Friday this week. I felt kind of bad for it, but I really didn't want to return to Hopewell. After this was the "weekly weekly meeting meeting", which was pretty good after the success of our first meeting. We're meeting in a nearby church from now on, which will be interesting; I can't wait to see it.

We didn't go to Eastbrook until about noon, so I had plenty of time to eat, have quiet time, listen to music, and start rendering a fractal flame. We'll be ministering this week in the church's learning center, helping adults get their GEDs and work on computer skills. The computer part and the center's focus on building math skills made me very sure that Eastbrook was the place for me, especially considering my experience as a math TA. The director of the center, Bob Brock, was a really cool guy

After learning about the center, we went out to pass out more fliers to the neighborhood, door-to-door. Luckily the weather was much cooler and breezier today, and after a bit of nervousness I got pretty good at going up to doors alone and inviting people to the center. Pretty much everyone was polite and some showed genuine interest, including a few people who said they'd come.

So, needless to say I'll be staying at Eastbrook this week. I'm excited to use the skills God has given me to help people get on their educational feet! Be praying that God will help me and the rest of the team rely on Him and bring His love to Eastbrook, Hopewell, and Straightway this week!

Composed ~4:50 PM, Monday, June 28th

Days 15-17: Epic Weekend

Hey, I haven't posted for two days! Soon you won't hear from me at all!

This weekend has had some pretty intense highs and lows. Friday was our last day at Hopewell. It went pretty well; we discussed the Resurrection and some of the kids really seemed interested. We also got them into the reflex-based card game Egyptian Rat [Catcher/Slap/Screw/Race/Whatever], which proved to be a hit. There were very few kids in the morning, but more little ones kept trickling in and were quite a handful by the end of the day. One nine-year-old kept wanting piggyback rides, which was exhausting. My friends were pretty sad to be leaving, but I was mostly exhausted and honestly kind of relieved to be done. This was kind of troubling; I didn't think I should have been so eager to be done.

Anyway, after leaving Hopewell we had a few hours to relax before meeting up for the latest social event. I used some of this time to shave off my beard. I've had it for over half a year, since last December, but it felt kind of awkward while working with the kids, and was less than optimal in the nasty heat. (For those who didn't hear on Facebook, Milwaukee basically has two types of weather: horribly hot, humid, and cloudless days, and severe thunderstorms. A storm woke me up again last night, and hours after some daytime downpours we had more heat) Having a naked face feels pretty weird; after hte beard came off I just spent a few minutes touching my chin for the first time in months. Peoples' reactions were pretty good, but now I'm afraid I have a reputation for changing my apparance weekly, so I'm not sure how to keep that up.

We were apparently driving out to Oconomowoc (or some other incomprehensible Wisconsin place name), where a family affiliated with Cru, the Pekowskis or something, was hosting a party for us in their lakefront home. It was a pretty long drive, made longer by our taking city streets to avoid Summerfest/rush hour traffic. We got way out into the country, eventually reaching a picturesque road lined by old trees. (I wish I'd gotten a picture) The house was pretty amazing, with a great deck and a heated indoor poor (for wintertime, I guess). It was situated on a beautiful lake with a speed boat and pontoon.

After consuming some munchies, I got to go out on both boats. The pontoon ride was a wonderful cruise around "Crazy Man's Island" (Mr. Pekowski says you'd have to be crazy to live on it). We ran into the speed boat attempting to take people wakeboarding on our way. After both boats came back, I climbed onto the speed boat and we took off into open water. People then lined up to try their hands at wakeboarding. Most didn't have a chance; Jessi got going for a few seconds, but that was pretty much it. Still a fun stop-and-start time on the water. After everyone else was done, the older of the brothers who were piloting the boat got in and immediately began doing all sorts of crazy flips and tricks off the wake. It was extremely cool (and probably depressing to everyone who had tried it).

After we got back, grilled dinner was served and we pretty much hung out for the rest of the night. A fire and s'mores were made at some point. The highlight of the night were the quasi-legal fireworks, which were basically scaled-down versions of a 4th of July show. It was crazy fun. Overall, it was awesome fellowship and a great way to unwind after a stressful week. I was dead tired by the time we got back after 11:30 and pretty much went to bed immediately.

The next day we were helping with a kids' event run by City on a Hill, Super Saturday! It was basically a carnival with face painting, games, crafts, and a presentation of the gospel. Most of my work for it involved canvassing the neighboorhood handing out fliers and telling people to bring their kids. I'd had breakfast at around 8:30 under the assumption we'd get lunch during the training. Wrong! By 2:00 I was pretty dead when we finally returned to City on a Hill. As they seated the kids for the assembly (which pretty much put everything we did at Hopewell to shame), I had to slip upstairs for late lunch. After returning I hung out with the kids a bit and handed out journals (basically reflection/homework) as they left. It was hot outside and we were pretty exhausted by the time we'd finished packing everything up.

For dinner we went to Bayshore Mall again, where I knew there was a Five Guys (purveyors of the best hamburgers and fries you'll ever taste). Tim had to take his MacBook in to the Apple store to get a new battery, and there was also interest in visiting Barnes and Noble. I think I was the only one who got a book (a collection of George MacDonald quotes by C.S. Lewis). Five Guys was delicious, but surprisingly filling, to the point where I felt sick afterward.

After returning everyone downstairs decided to play "Underground Church"--basically Sardines, but with more strategy. One player had to go and hide to "plant" the church; everyone else then tried to find and "join" the church while avoiding capture by the two Roman guards. After this we converted the lounge into a movie room for Slumdog Millionaire. I declined to watch it, both because it was by this point disgustingly hot downstairs and because I was increasingly feeling a need for some reflection.

I was dissatisfied with how I handled the first week of ministry; like I discussed with Dave, I had trouble really engaging with the kids and I felt drained at the end of the week, not full of the Spirit. Project has been redefining what it means to trust God and showing me what true Christian love really looks like; it's good to get a clearer picture of how I'm valled to live, but at the same time it's sobering to realize how impossible this mission is on my own. I'm also feeling increasingly convicted of my sin as sin--not just problems in my life, but a persistent attitude of apathy and rebellion against God--as Owen puts it, an aversation to Christian service because selfishness has taken the place of love for God.

Today we went to Straightway Vineyard, the ministry site for the other vocational team next week. It was apparently in a converted warehouse, with one room set up pretty nicely as a small sanctuary. Their attendance was apparently surprisingly low this week. so Here's Life was about half of the conrgegation. The worship songs were surprisingly all new to me, but unlike the last two churches there were projected lyrics so I could participate. The pastor was informal, but Biblical and very good, remeniscent of Pastor Styeve from Hope Community CHurch at the U. Plus the sermon was on one of my favorite chapters, 1 Corinthians 13, and what living a Christian life of dynamic love looks like. One quote that was encouraging for me: "When people see that God is working with broken people, it's glory to God."

After that we went back out into the 'burbs to a staffer's dad's house for lunch. Much good chicken and fellowship was had. (And delicious dessert: ice cream sandwiched between Rice Krispy bars) This weekend has been most recharging and hope-giving after the week's discouragement. Next week we're tutoring young adults at Eastbrook Church, which shouldn't be nearly as nasty or cut into my quiet time with curriculum meetings. Be praying that God would use the broken people on our team to do His kingdom work and glorify Himself in Milwaukee!

Composed ~3:00 PM, Sunday, June 27th

Day 14--Getting Better

It's hard to believe I've been here two weeks--I can't decide if it feels more like two days or two months. It's been really challenging and testing pretty much every day, but at the same time everything seems to fly by.

Today was our first day of ministry with the team split in half. We stayed at Hopewell, and team two went to another place running a VBS called Straightway. Luckily some workplace ministry people who had nothing else to do for various reasons came along, so we still had nine people total. We were also there for only half the day due to coming back to help COAH with some ministry work in the afternoon.

Anyway, today was pretty good. We did the cruxifixion today for the lesson, which didn't turn out to be overly heavy and depressing but actually went quite well. With Jack gone, I led the older guys' lesson with Aaron helping. I think it went pretty well; I came up with some good discussion questions and some of the guys seemed pretty engaged and interested. (Some of the younger ones were still screwing around, which was saddening)

The one-day workplace volunteers got along very well with the kids. Aaron led his team to victory in basketball, Tim and Erica got along quite well with the younger kids, and Cheryl led one of the older girls to Christ!! Praise the Lord! I remember her asking if I had one of Campus Crusade's evangelism booklets and getting really excited.

After getting back from that and eating lunch (leftover jambalaya--mmm!), we joined the COAH staff for some evangelism with their students. At the same time as our summer-long mission, high and middle school students have been filtering in ando ut for one-week mission trips focusing on awareness of inner city life, evangelism training, and basically building their faith. We were doing some various evangelism techniques; I got to run a "prayer booth" with Emily, Daniel the COAH staffer, and Nick, one of the mission trip students.

We carried the sign and table out to an island in a big intersection near the ministry center and basically asked passersby if they wanted prayer. Some simply ignored us, but I'd say the majority were surprisingly open, asking for prayer on a variety of things. Everyone who asked for prayer was thankful for it; my favorite was a woman named Cheryl who pulled up asked for prayer on a failing kidney. A minute later, she ran up, having apparently parked on a side street, and prayed with us. It was really encouraging and good to be doing even something so simple for the city. It was also nice from an evangelism perspective to see how open peoples' hearts are, if only to prayer.

After that we came back exhausted and had delicious tacos for dinner. The second reflection night is tonight, and I feel called to work on my testimony during it. (We're all sharing them during project; I'm registered for July 14th) Pray that God would keep encouraging me and open my eyes to see His work through me instead of my own inadequate efforts. God bless!

Composed ~6:00 PM, Thursday, June 24th, 2010

Day 13

Today started as another seven-hour day of ministry. Cameron was intermittently better and still worrisome today; he was sometimes engaging with the other kids and having fun, and at other times closing off and not participating. Sandra (the leader of the program) told me he has ADHD, which I'm still not sure how it explains everything. But overall he seemed better today and I really hope he's getting something from the program.

Otherwise things were chaotic and stressful as usual, but improving. The program has several volunteers from the neighborhood, whom we're still figuring out how to employ. They were increasingly helpful today, with one even leading a worship song in the afternoon! We had some decent games, and as usual they heartily enjoyed basketball. Perhaps most importantly, they (the older kids) seemed pretty engaged and comprehending in the Bible lesson on jesus feeding the 5,000. I guess I can only pray that God really is getting through to them through us.

After the exhausting day was over, it was time for more discipleship with Dave! We drove out to Alterra coffee shop, where we talked over the challenges of our ministry. This week has been challenging like I've never been challenged before, which I'm glad for, but it's pretty straining for my faith to trust God in such a constant, day-to-day way. I've been having trouble really connecting with the kids and finding ways to fit in with them; at the end of the day of ministry, I ultimately have to trust God to work His will out through all our imperfections. Dave shared the story of Gideon with me; how God took the most unlikely person and led him to defeat the Midianites in the most impossible circumstances. If God used him, can't he use me and the rest of the team?

So it was a pretty reassuring discipleship. He also suggested abiding in God more closely, praying throughout the day and "thinking to God," not just myself. After we got back it was pretty much dinnertime. It was delicious spicy jambalaya, which I ate very quickly in order to get to the business of tonight: the weekly meeting! Having run media for the meetings back at Twin Cities Cru, I had volunteered to do tech for the meetings here. Even better, worship leader Jack had borrowed some equipment from UW Milwaukee, which I wanted to get there early to set up and figure out. With my roommate Aaron helping, we set up speakers, mics, a sound board, and projector.

So the meeting was a success, techwise and Godwise. The worship was really great and powerfully God-oriented; we also had two student testimonies which were pretty intense. The speaker delivered a message from a book; I didn't get the context, but the author shared the image of a black, homeless(?) man constantly visiting a crippled, racist man in a nursing home to care for him. It struck me as a shining example of working out God's love: giving so much of yourself in the worst conditions to love someone who doesn't thank your or even want any help. In reflection, God's unconditional love for us is probably pretty similar.

After putting away all the UWM equipment, we went to Leon's (custard place) to celebrate. I had a delicious root beer malt. After returning I finally got around to planning the lesson for tomorrow. We aren't too prepared, but for some reason I'm even less worried than before. Pray that God's strength would shine through our weakness and the children of the inner city would know His love!

Composed ~10:50 PM, Wednesday, June 23rd

Day 12--Cameron

Another crazy day of ministering to the kids today. It was super hot, and playing outside was pretty tough. The lesson today was on John 4 (the Samaritan woman at the well), and due to a combination of its intelligibility and our increased efforts to coe up with a lesson I thought it went much better this time. We went outside for more basketball after that; I instead threw a frisbee with a guy named Chris. He seems to be much older than the other kids, so I'm not entirely sure what he's doing there, but he's very good-natured and into God.

After lunch was a combination of playing inside and outside. It was too hot to play outside much, but inside some of the girls were having a nail-painting party, which smelled pretty bad. One of the girls was trying to get my nails painted by dragging me over to it, so I spent a while running and hiding from her. I also tried to mediate a basketball game between some little kids; I need to work on the whole discipline thing and I felt pretty lost. One of our ideas was playing a Lecrae song and discussing it, as we figured the older kids would enjoy the music and get into the lyrics. Unfortunately, others thought the little kids would like it as well and brought them in; they didn't pay attention and ended up distracting everyone. We're trying that again tomorrow.

But the highlight of the day was a kid we met named Cameron. He was initially sullen, not really following along in the big meeting and going around with his arms folded. He was pretty quiet during the Bible lesson, but asked some interesting questions about the new Earth, which I'm not sure where they came from. He didn't participate too much during the way, and in the afternoon Jack and I saw him writing some pretty scary depressing stuff ("I hate myself", etc.). We tried to talk to him about it, but he wouldn't talk, only nod/shake his head and write. I was praying that God would open up his heart and love on him through me. I got a definite sense that I should stay with Cameron.

I stayed with him as the others played a game and went back up to the sanctuary. He started making something out of markers, yarn, and tape; initially I thought it was a swing of some kind, but it turned out to be a slingshot. Yarn wasn't really stretchy enough for a slingshot, so after I got him an apple he started requesting painting supplies. I helped him out however I could, and he ended up painting a slingshot and a cannon of some kind. Kind of violent things to paint, but he was definitely talking openly during the process. I tried to turn the slingshot into a story of David and Goliath, which he seemed kind of interested in. And he finally smiled when everyone was complementing him on his art and hanging it in the main hallway.

Afterward we went back and actually managed to plan out tomorrow's meeting in one session! It's exhausting, but after today I'm simultanously excited and scared for what tomorrow will bring; I have no idea what it will be like, but I'll have to trust God. Is this what giving our troubles and worries to God is like?

Composed ~5:00 PM, Tuesday, June 22

Days 10-11: Into the Fire

There is a tornado warning for Milwaukee as I write this, apparently. I didn't see outside much, but there was some pretty intense lightning and I heard sirens. Luckily, I was extremely pressed for time today and rushed to get my computer for blogging (among other things) before I knew, so it will be safe regardless. I'm much more nervous about getting all my responsibilities done in the limited time I have.

The last two days have been pretty crazy. Most of what was my free time has been dominated by more meetings to figure out what we'll be doing for the VBS we're running at Hopewell Missionary Baptist this week, which we started today. We're learning a lot about presenting the gospel to kids of all ages, but it's been incredibly hard and they keep us almost too busy to work on it. We have to come up with skits, crafts, songs, and games for the kids, all centered around age-appropriate teaching. The first day was the beginning of John, which isn't the easiest passage for the young.

Yesterday we went to church at Hopewell. Like Berean, it was a predominately African American church. It was a bit harder to figure out than Berean; the worship again didn't have printed lyrics, and the large sanctuary created lots of echoes and made it hard to understand what people were singing. I still tried to follow along as best as I could, but it was hard to get over the unfamiliarity of it all. It was nice how they honored their guests and still tried to make us feel welcome.

After that we had a few precious free hours, which were followed by meetings, meetings, and more meetings with dinner in there somewhere. The full-time ministry people met to work on the curriculum, then the weekly meeting team convened (I lok forward to lending my media expertise from Twin Cities cru to summer project) and then more VBS meeting. We worked on this until everyone was dead tired and pretty much went straight to bed, trusting God for the rest.

We left for Hopewell the next morning by 8:45, arriving while kids were playing outside or eating breakfast. We got some time to set up for the large-group meeting in the sanctuary. Around 10, we gathered all the kids up and led them to the sanctuary to begin.

From there things were pretty crazy. The VBS curriculum we were using was mainly for up to 5th grade, but we had kids all the way up to advanced high school age, which led to awkwardness at times. We hadn't gotten enough time to prepare the lesson for the older kids (whom I worked with), and I think they were pretty confused. The craft we had (making handy nametags) was useful for names, but kind of boring for them.

Still, the first day was pretty essential for giving us an idea of what to do and how to proceed, and I think many kids really learned more about Jesus was a result of today. Despite the difficulties we were still able to connect with the kids despite the cultural differences; I made a few friends while playing on the church's Wii and cards. Scorekeeping for their almost-daily basketball games was also fun.

But ultimately, today was a pretty sobering look at the challenges that lie ahead for us. We had another meeting to address problems and changes immediately after getting back; we again didn't have enough time before evening events to finish everything. I was saddened to be distracted by the men's Bible study by all the stuff that still had to be done. Immediately after we finished up I bolted upstairs to get my laptop and start working, only to learn that we had to go to a basement room for safety. As I felt kind of frustrated with God for seemingly not letting me carry out my responsibilities to Him, I was reminded that it's not what we can do for God that's important, but what God does for us. As a techie I place a high value in getting things done right, but when I've done all I can, I can only trust in God to work in mysterious ways to complete His will.

So, pray that God would give us reassurance in that and peace/relief from the high stress levels of figuring this all out. Also for whatever damage the tornado does.

Composed ~9:40 PM, Monday, June 21st